I'm listening to a sermon this weekend by RT Kendall on forgiveness. Actually part one was on forgiveness and this is part two, which is on blessing our enemies. I was reminded that forgiveness does not equal reconciliation. You have to forgive, but you usually can not reconcile. So, you don't wait for reconciliation to forgive, nor repentance from the one who hurt you. Here's a note from a doctor who read RT's book on forgiveness:
As a medical doctor, one of the most important problems that I encounter among my patients is that of bitterness, resentment,and unforgiveness. It is a major reason why people don't heal. This book offers extremely practical information and refer many of my patients to it for reading. It is the best book that I have seen on the subject of forgiveness and I highly recommend it to everyone.