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It's So Easy to Fall in Love


There is a song by Buddy Holly, called, "It's So Easy (To Fall In Love)".

Is 'falling in love' in the Bible?  And do we marry our spouse because we fell in love with them?

One story about falling in love, in the Bible is the story of Jacob and Rachel.  He had 'love at first sight' with her.  Then he met her dad.

The problem with falling in love is that it is as easy to fall out as it was to fall in.

A person says they got divorced because they 'fell out of love'.  And then there is the statement: "I love you, but I am not in love with you".

Somehow, 'the feeling', has been lost.  There is more to love than the engulfing experience of falling and feeling 'in love'.  

As a young man, one day, I saw a couple where the wife was in a wheelchair, disabled; and her husband was pushing her along.  And I had an epiphany where I saw true love.  C. S. Lewis made the point in his book, The Four Loves, that deep love is not only love that loves unconditionally, but receives unconditionally.

As Christians, we hear and read that we ought to be unconditional lovers, as we love one another.  But the other side of the coin, that Lewis brings up, is the exercise of letting yourself be loved unconditionally.

We have been a people who have tried to love others.  For many, it has been hard and we have not done well.  Maybe it is because we have failed to learn to be loved.

There is another love issue about getting married.  We have this idea of 'looking for the one', or our 'soul-mate'.  In Christian culture, we get this idea that God has one person for us, in the whole world.

A lady named Hannah, wrote a much read and commented on blog post called, 'My Husband is Not My Soulmate'. I have come to the same conclusion as her dad has, who said, "There is no biblical basis to indicate that God has one soul mate for you to find and marry. You could have a great marriage with any number of compatible people. There is no ONE PERSON for you. But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person."

Some people state as their reason for divorce, and these are people with children in their homes; that they are no longer 'in love' with their spouse.  Maybe they have already 'fallen in love' with someone else and maybe not.  This illustrates that being 'in love' is not enough.

I believe that everyone should have pre-marital counseling before they get married.  And authentic counseling should cause about 50% of engaged couples to postpone or break off their marriage plans.  When you look at something very carefully, you must be open to finding out that you are wrong and be willing to change your mind.

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