criticism, contempt, stone walling, and defensiveness.
The one point I took away was of how to turn critcism around to a self-expression of personal pain. They said (I am paraphrasing here) that complaining is a better way than to criticize. I don't mean complaining about your spouse because that would be criticism. I mean just complaining, preferably owning the feelings with "I statements". "Woe is me" ALWAYS sounds ten times better (even a hundred times) than, "you are bad". A complainer is at worst a pest and a neurotic, while a critic is hurtful and even abusive and destructive. They used the example of saying, "I feel so frustrated when we're always late" (complaint), versus "you always make us late" (critcism).