Crossing over

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.
Matthew 14:22-36

I am crossing over into something new. New situations, new people, new relationships. It hasn't all happened yet but is just beginning. The story above is a crossing over story. Like the disciples, I feel sent somewhere in my life, by Jesus. He has directed me to go. I don't know exactly where I am going, but I have some direction as to going out towards it.

Along the way there is darkness and storms. There are challenges in many dimentions. I wonder if I should go back to the known place that I set out from that was safer. But I don't know if I could find my way back even if I wanted to and I know that there is no gaurantee that it would be the same. My personal belief, from experience is that it would not be the same. I have changed to much and I suspect that the place back there where I came from has changed too. I can not go back.

So here I am, out there, out here; between my old home and my destination, wich is foggy. I wonder what is going to happen. All I see are waves and wind and there is the heaving up and down and around, like I might go upside down. Where is Jesus in all this. I got out here in this because he got me into this and said "go". Where is he? I'm praying to God, praying too Jesus and I feel like he is not there and I can not see him. Where is he in all this?

Then, something or someone appears. What is it? who is it? It's Jesus. I think that Jesus apprears, figuratively in my life and yours; and he can appear literally if he wants to, in new ways that we are not used to. After all these years, I personally am recieving a new revelation of who God is. It's not all new like I did not know Him before, but a deepening, a renewal, a restoring or who He has always been and I have not seen as well. My eyes and heart are different and see more. It's not a different Jesus, but a new side of Him. For me, more a new side of Father God.

He's coming to me, like Peter, in a new way. He's even asking me to walk with him in this way that is new to me, with him. I have to keep my eyes on him to do it and walk in faith. I am crossing over.