Deal with your stuff first

"Don't criticise people, and you will not be criticised. For you will be judged by the way you criticise others, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive." "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and fail to notice the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me get the speck out of your eye', when there is a plank in your own? You fraud! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you can see clearly enough to remove your brother's speck of dust."

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Matt. 7:1-5, Phillips, The Message

Not much commentary needed except to say that we easily distract ourselves from ourselves by scrutinizing and finding fault with others. We are simply not called to do this. It's toxic and back-fires on us like a law of nature. We are called to deal with our own stuff first and then we can see others more clearly. If I am first working on my recovery and making sure I am keeping an eye on my stuff and removing the distortions and the desire to look away from my own stuff to distract myself from it, then I am more able to see the other in a humble way, as another person in need of grace and mercy and who maybe is not anywhere near being ready.