Bitter Resentment Towards Others (James 5:9)

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Brothers and sisters, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look, the judge stands at the door!
Grudge not, brethren, one against another, that you may not be judged. Behold the judge standeth before the door.
-James 5:9 (CSN, DRA)

Don't blame other people, in your heart, for your discomfort.

“What is forbidden is not the loud and bitter denunciation of others but the unexpressed feeling of bitterness or the smothered resentment that may express itself in a groan or a sigh.”
-Donald W. Burdick, Hebrews/James, p. 202

This reminds me of Proverbs 27:5 that says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love".  We rebuke people that we love.

Rebuking someone you love or in love is good and not sinful, but the complaining bitterness, groaning against and begrudging others whom you are supposed to love is very wrong.

The person who tells you, "You're wrong", "I disagree with you", or "Stop that"; actually loves you.  Whereas, the person who judges you, that they think you are wrong, they disagree with you, resent you, and are bitter toward you; do not love you, or their love is very lacking.

Confrontation is a test of love.  If you confront someone and they leave you, you stop hearing from them, what does that say about them?  They may be thin-skinned or easily offended, and I bet you already knew that.  But maybe what it says is that they don't want real love.

There are people who constantly confront, as in Oppositional defiant.  The guy or gal who is like a skunk, going off all the time, that you don't want to be around.  That is not what I am talking about.

If you walk with someone, it's normal to disagree, even denunciate them.  I have three people in my life, that come to mind immediately (there are probably others) who confront me.

When we give ourselves over to bitterness and resentment, we give ourselves permission because we are judging them.    Saying, "Ouch", or even "I think you are so wrong", is very different than resenting and holding a grudge, that is holding a spreading a complaint.

It is one thing to be grieved at a difference of opinion and that is okay.  Jesus was grieved with the people who rejected him.  But to be aggrieved, is to be offended and bitter over your difference or disagreement.  The second one has destructive anger that is self-righteous because we are playing judge.

The religious rulers were aggrieved, offended, and felt justified in hating Jesus, wanting him dead.  They complained about him, how James says not to do.  This is very different than open rebuke.

Today, when we disagree with people, there is a right and wrong way to deal with it