Notes on Friendship from Derek Kidner

One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
-Proverbs 18:24

These are my notes from pages 45 and 46 of Derek Kidner's commentary on Proverbs (1964):

The good friend

1. Constancy is the first feature.

• 'Fair weather friends" contrasted.
• If you want true friends, be a true friend.  Don't expect to receive something you are not giving.
• Be loyal.  Don't drop old friends just to replace them with new ones.

2. Candour

• True friends rebuke each other.
• Flattery contrasted.
• Avoidance of candour may prove deadly.
• Be prepared not to be thanked until later if at all.

3. Counsel

• Cheer your friend on.
• Disagree or clash with you friend.
• Two sides to the same coin.

4. Tact

• Respect their feelings.
• Don't take advantage of, take for granted, act entitled towards, or impose upon.
• Duty of forethought: do not joke too far at their expense.

The vulnerability of friendship

• To be a true friend is to risk betrayal or estrangement.
• Close friendships need guarding.
• A tactless friend is less damaging than separation caused by malicious gossip.
• "The integrity of a friendship depends as much on spiritual resources as the individual."