When someone loves arguing

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.
-Titus 3:9-11 (NIV)

There are people who love to argue.  There are people in the church and people who say they are Christians who love to argue.  Arguing is different than debating, discussing, asking questions, preaching, or having a dialogue to persuade. 

People in the church or who say they are Christians, who love to argue, can be snarky which means sarcastic and impertinent.  Snarky is not a word found in the Bible.  But, 'scoffer', 'mocker', or 'scorner' are Bible words that describe a snarky argumentative person who is divisive.

In Paul's letter to the Romans in chapter 14, he gives instructions on how Christians are to live side by side when they do not agree on things.  I want to talk about the person who loves to argue and why being that way is sinful and is to be avoided.  And I want to share a better way to behave when we disagree, described in Romans 14.

Our text begins here:

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
-Titus 3:9

I says, "but avoid".  'But' introduces a contrast or exception to what was previously stated which was the message that we are saved by our savior because of his mercy and are justified by his grace so that we are given eternal life.  This is the message and the business that we are to devote ourselves to along with doing good works:

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
-Titus 3:3-8

Rather than being concerned with and devoted to the gospel message, these people who love to argue want to talk about controversial and divisive arguments that distract us from our mission and ruin the unity and witness of the church.

Avoid means 'to be a bystander' or 'keep away from'.  Avoid means you can see and hear but do not participate.  "Avoid" suggests a deliberate turning away, indicating the necessity of active resistance against such discussions.

Foolish means stupid or foolish, or absurd.

Arguing means 'strife', 'contention', and 'is the expression of enmity'.  Arguing means heated conflict or disagreement that is often violent.  And this argumentative quarrelsomeness is sin, a work of the flesh.

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
-Titus 3:9

This is what someone wrote about Titus 2:9:

'foolish arguments' are those matters and perspectives that are plainly not of the text but can be rendered as simply an opinion which matters little to the Gospel and the purpose of the inspired word - to draw men to God through His son Jesus.

Foolish controversies are opinions that are not essential Christian beliefs and there are people who divide Christians with these.  This is misguided, mistaken and sinful.

There is a famous quote, "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity."  The person who loves to argue does not allow for the liberty is disagreements nor display love in their conduct towards others but rather has snarky contempt for others, with mocking and scoffing.

Let's read Ephesians 4, verse 2 and 3:

Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 

We can discuss differences of opinion over things that are not the essentials and even disagree about them, but we should never divide over them.  But arguing divisively with snark, mocking and scoffing  is sin.

The difference between arguing or quarreling which are sinful, and discussions or debating or even questioning another person is that arguing and quarreling are filled with anger and pride. 

Let's talk about the anger element is arguments and quarrels.

Ephesians 4:26 and 27 says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

We all will experience anger, but we have to learn how to control it. Sinful anger remains in an individual and manifests in things like harboring resentment and seeking revenge. These verses also teach that we need to resolve our anger quickly, not allowing it to turn into bitterness, creating a bitter attitude. Jesus teaches us to forgive, settle accounts, and to live in peace.

A person who loves to argue and divides Christians sometimes has an unedifying style or way of talking that is ‘snarky’.  And these arguers are often 'controversialists'.  They love to talk about controversies.  But let me say that there is nothing wrong with talking about controversial subjects.  

There is the old adage that says, "never discuss politics or religion in polite company" which suggests that these topics can lead to conflict and discomfort in social settings. It reflects a long-standing belief that avoiding such discussions can help maintain harmony among people with differing views.

But there are people who love to argue about controversies in a snarky way.  What is snarky?

Snarky is defined according to Webster’s Dictionary:

Snarky is to be ‘crotchety’ which means, “subject to whims, crankiness, or ill temper”.

Snarky is to be ‘snappish’ which means, “given to curt irritable speech”, or, “arising from annoyance or irascibility”.

Snarky also means to be sarcastic.  Sarcasm means, “the use of words that mean the opposite of what one intends to say especially in order to insult, to show irritation, or to be funny : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on ironic and usually bitter and caustic language often directed against an individual”, or, “a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain”.

Snarky is defined as, "sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent in tone or manner."

The meaning of SNARK is an attitude or expression of mocking irreverence and sarcasm.

Snark or snarky is not a word found in the Bible, but I believe it’s Biblical equivalent that expresses the sentiment or style of the person who loves to argue and is divisive, are the words ‘mocker’ and ‘scoffer’.

In Titus 3, Paul tells Titus to avoid or turn away from (don't give attention to) the argumentative person: "But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the Law". The Greek word here for foolish, Mōras, means absurd or perhaps idiotic and is the same word where Jesus taught not to call someone:

Matthew 5:22, “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

Jesus warns us not to call our brother a fool. But Paul says to Titus to avoid foolish controversies. It is the same Greek word or same root word. It’s plural with foolish and an adjective with fool.  Calling a brother a fool is an insult that is out of bounds, yet a brother might engage in foolish controversies.  We have to be careful not to judge or condemn someone as a fool but rather confront their foolish behavior.

In Titus 3, Paul says that the divisive person who rants about foolish controversies is to be avoided or shunned after two warnings. "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them."

What is a divisive person? The Greek word is 'hairetikon' which means sectarian. "The term "divisive" refers to someone causing factions or schisms, which is contrary to the unity Christ prayed for in John 17:21, when he said:

that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

The Greek word used here, "hairetikos," in Titus 3:10, implies someone who chooses to follow their own opinions over the collective teaching of the church. 

E.K. Simpson, in his Pastoral Epistles (1954), wrote this about the man who loves to argue in Titus 3:10, "(this factitious man) signifies much what we call a 'cliquist' or opinionative propagandist who promotes dissension by his pertinacity."

Here are some more Bible verses about quarreling and strife, with my notes;

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
-Proverbs 20:3

Keeping aloof from strife vs. jumping into a quarrel.

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you yourself will be just like him.
-Proverbs 26:4

Fruitless arguments are a waste of time. Do not respond to a closed mind. Do not sink down to the foolish arguer's level.

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies.  Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith.
-1 Timothy 1:3-4

There are discussions that do not lead to spiritual growth, that are unedifying and that lead to division and confusion.  Instead of majoring in the minors we should promote certainties and the essentials of God's Word.

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.

-2 Timothy 2:23

'Stupid arguments' are discussions that are not grounded in Bible truth or Bible knowledge. The quarreling is divisive and unedifying and does not promote unity: Jesus prayed, "That they all may be one" (John 17:21), And Paul wrote, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:3).  James said this about people who love to argue:

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
-James 4:1

Fights among brethren?  Hills to die on?  This goes against Jesus teaching on peacemaking: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9), and goes against Paul's teaching on living in harmony: "Be of the same mind toward one another..." (Romans 12:16a).

These desires that war within a person are hedonistic desires. If arguing is pleasurable to a person, they might have a problem.

The word in the Old Testament, found and defined in the book of Proverbs that describes a person, his behavior, who loves to argue and is divisive is 'scoffer', 'scorner', or 'mocker'.  Proverbs 9:7-8 says:

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.

The BibleHub Study Bible says this about the mocker here:

In the biblical context, a "mocker" is someone who ridicules or scorns wisdom and instruction. This phrase highlights the futility and potential backlash of attempting to correct someone who is not open to learning or change. The mocker is often associated with pride and arrogance, traits that make them resistant to correction. In Proverbs, mockers are contrasted with the wise, who are open to instruction and growth. The cultural context of ancient Israel placed a high value on wisdom and learning, and those who rejected it were seen as foolish. This phrase warns that engaging with such individuals can lead to personal disgrace, as the mocker may respond with hostility or ridicule, reflecting poorly on the one offering correction.

The phrase ("Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults...") warns against engaging in fruitless efforts to correct such individuals, as their response is often one of animosity rather than repentance.

There is backlash when confronting a mocker.  They do not like to be corrected and this keeps them from becoming wise:

A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

-Proverbs 13:1

The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.

-Proverbs 14:6

Mockers resent correction, so they avoid the wise.

-Proverbs 15:12

Mockers are proud, arrogant and very angry:

The proud and arrogant person—"Mocker” is his name— behaves with insolent fury.
-Proverbs 21:24

'insolent fury' (NIV) literally means that the mocker acts with excessive pride that is overflowing with anger and presumptiveness.  The mocker acts as a 'debunker' who is exposing or discrediting something or someone with a heavy amount of ridicule.  Mocking is, "the act of using words, gestures, images, or other products of expression to evoke laughter or contemptuous feelings regarding a person or thing." (American Heritage Dictionary)  The mocker is unable to calmly debate an issue, but instead cannot help themselves and employs mockery instead, trying to make their opponent into a laughingstock, and employing ad hominem attacks.

Proverbs 22:10 says: 

 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.

Mockers are quarrelsome, love to argue, but are not civil.

Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.
-Proverbs 29:8

Mockers are divisive.  They stir the pot and stoke the fire of conflict.  They have a 'hill to die on' mentality and a 'take no prisoners' approach as controversialist debunkers.  This is simply not Christian behavior and is rather a display of the works on the flesh rather that the fruit of the Spirit.  Galatians 5:15-26 says this:

If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

In the Roman church, there were differing opinions about eating, the day for gathering as the church, and the drinking of wine. These are great examples of non-essentials that Christians do not have to agree on to have fellowship.

This is the first four verses of Romans 14:

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
-Romans 14:1-4

We can not evaluate someone judgmentally who believes in dietary restrictions even as part of their faith. Paul is crying foul on believers who discern that other believers are wrong about a non-essential matter. The person with weak faith does not mean they have no faith. We all have room to grow in our faith. We do not need to resolve all issues nor believe exactly the same thing about non-essential issues. Only in cults is it demanded that all believe the same thing on everything. Christians have liberty to disagree on non-essentials. Christian unity does not come from uniformity. Conflicts over non-essentials are divisive and not loving.

In the Roman church or even today, a person may be accustomed to avoiding pork or avoiding all meats and has not fully embraced the freedom in Christ to eat all foods. This is where their opinion is at today and we need to accept them. Likewise, the person who has convinced themselves that dietary restrictions somehow makes them more spiritual or in a better place is also not given permission to judge the other brethren who do not agree with their view on this matter. We are not supposed to try to force others to come to believe what we do about non-essential matters.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.
-Romans 14:5

Some Christians are adamant that Sunday is 'the day' that Christians must gather. And there is a denomination that has turned their insistence on Saturday as the only day Christians should gather into an essential or a "hill to die on" so much so that they judge all other Christians as out of step. Still other Christians believe that gathering on any day of the week is fine. Even though Sunday gatherings and particularly Sunday morning gathering is the ingrained tradition, it does not mean it is correct or more spiritual than gathering at another time. Gathering times are non-essential traditions.  But, it is okay to be convinced in your own mind that Sundays is best.

I want to mention that the sabbath keeping command was never about the day to gather for worship, but was about a day to not work.  Jesus did not keep the sabbath and it does not carry forward into the new covenant.

There is a principle that Paul teaches in Romans 14 and that is to not cause your brother to stumble:

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.  So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not 
come from faith is sin.
-Romans 14:19-23

What is Paul's point? To love is more important than being right on a non-essential matter. Out of love, the more mature believer abides in peace with the scrupulous believer who has less liberty. Being considerate of other's scrupulosity or their different belief in a non-essential matter is loving and godly. The stronger or more mature Christian should always give up their rights for the weaker brethren. Forbearance and latitude should be given to others. The person who is walking in grace should give grace to others.

What does the teaching in Romans 14 have to do with the person who loves to argue?  The topic of Romans 14 is conduct within Christian liberty.  How to agree to disagree under Christ's command to love.  It is foolhardy to judge your brother.  It is sinful to offend your brother.  Arguing, scoffing, and mocking those who do not agree with your view is sin.

In his summing up the letter in Romans 16:17, Paul says this:

Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them.

There are Christians who cause division and promote scandals in the church that hinder unity and create stumbling blocks. This is the person who loves to argue and majors in the minors, not agreeing to disagree on disputable matters, but judges others who don't see things their way (Romans 14:1), arguing about disputed matters.

Titus 3:10 says:

Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

When a person is being divisive we can warn them privately two times, and if they continue, we must discontinue fellowship with them and no longer give them a hearing or a platform.

Causing division over secondary teachings, or speculations is sinful and to be avoided.

_______________________________

addendum:

The Greek words for 'arguments' and 'divisive' in Titus 3:9-10 that are called 'works of the flesh' in Galatians 5:20.  These words are underlined below.

But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.  Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

-Titus 3:9-10

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

-Galatians 5:19-21

Discord in Galatians 5:20 (NIV) is translated as strife (CSB, ESV, NASB),  quarreling (NLT), or contentions (NKJV) in other translations.

Arguments (NIV)(the same word as discord in Gal. 5:20) in Titus 3:9 is translated as quarrels (CSB, NLT), dissensions (ESV), strife (NASB), or contentions (NKJV) in other translations.

Factions in Galatians 5:20 (NIV, CSB, NASB) is translated division(s) (ESV, NLT), or heresies (NKJV) in other translations.

Divisive (NIV, CSB, NKJV)(the same word as factions in Galatians 5:20) in Titus 3:10 is translated as stirs up division (ESV), factious (NASB), or causing divisions (NLT) in other translations.